Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Go to hell

A Lawyer dies and goes to heaven. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.

"Hello mate," says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no lawyers in heaven."

"What?" exclaims the man, astonished.

"You heard, no lawyers."

"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Lawyer.

"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"

"Well" said the guy, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 10 dollars to the starving children in Africa".

"Oh" says St. Peter. "anything else?"

"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 10 dollars to the homeless."

"Hmmm. Anything else?"

"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 10 dollars to the Albanian orphans."

"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with The boss."

Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me.

Here's your thirty dollars back, now take a hike!"

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied Sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

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