Couple's jokes

Shut up

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

Three Children

A couple had three children. Two of them were bright, smart, and handsome but the third child was dull, ugly, and backward.
One day the hubby got suspicious and asked, Tell me the truth, dear.
Is this third child really mine?
Yes, dear, replied the wife, but the other two are not.

Three Qualities

When a bachelor marries, his wife has three qualities she is an economist in the kitchen, an aristocrat in the living room and a devil in bed. After a few years, sure enough the three qualities remain, but not in the same order she is an aristocrat in the kitchen, a devil in the living room and an economist in bed.

Wishing Well

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for awhile but then smiled and said, It really works!
Wedding Anniversary

I asked my wife, Where do you want to go on our anniversary?
She said, Somewhere I have never been!
I told her, How about the kitchen?

Happy Hour

During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn t talk for an hour? The hubby replied : Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life.

Hand in Hand

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.