marriage life before n after!

Marriage Life Before and After !!

Before marriage.
Darling here.. darling there...
After marriage.
Baling here... baling there..

Before marriage.
I die for you. . .
After marriage.
"You die, up to you. "
Lagi lama married.
You die I help you!

Before marriage.
You go anywhere. . I follow you.
After marriage. ..
You go anywhere. . up to you .
Lagi lama married.
You go anywhere better get lost!!

Before wedding
you are my heart, you are my love"
After wedding
"you get on my nerves. "

Before wedding
"you are sweet and kind just like Cinderella"
After wedding
"you are worse than godzila"

Before wedding
Roses are red, violets are blue. Like it or not, I'm stuck with you
After wedding
Roses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue you
 
Before wedding
Every makan he brings you to Shangri-La
After wedding
You want to go, he says you wait-la

Before wedding
She looks like Anita Sarawak
After wedding
Don't know whether katak or biawak

I have balls ;P

This was really funny this was written by a Guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a sense of humor!

I have never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and
Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and
women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says,
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads
to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just
love me for who I ! am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went
to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big unnamed department store.


I walked around with her while she tried on several different
very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I
said,"Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelery department where she picked out a
pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I
was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That! 's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction fro m all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said,
"I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me,
I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...but at least
that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Alright girls. Forward this if you agree. Hell even if you
disagree, forward it.

Men, forward this because you have balls.

Woman Golfer

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.   The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay."     For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.     Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.     Male readers: Please scroll down ... ... . .. ... ... ... .... ... .. ... ... The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.   Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show. 

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!